(An attempt at black humor inspired by my friend Brownie Pulliam's humorous aphorism: "whining has it's own rewards")


One day at the door step,

I fell upon a ruse

Wouldn't it be funny

If all this was just a cruise. . .


To "Nowhere". . .?


Why all the fightin'?

And why all the pain?

If we're going to end up "Nowhere"

In the end just the same?


Lover's a quarrelin'

And chil'ren a cryin'.

Warriers a killin'

Thousands o'boys a dyin'.


It's been going on for centuries

Many a tear's been shed.

But its gotten us exactly Nowhere

Nowhere has it led!


Its heartbreaking to think of it

But suspose it's true?

Where has all this got us

After all this time of being blue?


So, I said to my Daddy

I said Dear Pa,

If we're going Nowhere,

Why not forget about the pall?

Forget about the casket!

And forget about the haul!


When I'm dead,

Just drop me in the gutter

It won't matter then or now,

And just have someone mutter:

He was going Nowhere anyhow!


He queried by bush of brow

And looked at me perplexed

Asking where I got this notion

And came to be so vexed?


And so I said to my Daddy,

You see Dear Pa,

Here's the dadgum hook,

Nowhere's most anywhere we look!


Right now Nowhere follows me around

And makes life seem such a ruse

I think I might do better

If I were in it for the cruise.


But cruising is a boring task

Which I've ne're been much good

And there's nothing else much left

'cept to see how much can be stood!


So when I'm dead,

Just give me the old heave-ho!

The leaves 'ill cover o're me

And back to the earth I'll go!


It'll all happen either way you see

It matters not what we allow


We were'nt going anywhere

Just Nowhere anyhow.






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6 December 1986, Hollywood, California, USA

Copyright 1997 by Rodney W. Jenkins, Glendale, California. Unauthorized duplication or use is a violation of applicable federal laws.