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The Hidden Magical Thread

 

I am child
Wondering, looking, smiling easily
Bright the world seems
And full of facination
I watch a bird with great interest
And coming closer
Observe its swift retreat
Delighted by the game
I follow in spirit
But woe, my body soon trails behind the flight of 
       this quick creature
I think perhaps I too might fly
And soar and light next to my new friend
I imagine it, I dream of it
Although I see no one else flying.

One morning
Running
Skipping
My body feels lighter
I capture the feeling
And recreating it, find myself growing lighter
Then I would fly!
But stop
As if reminded by some long hidden force
That such is not my nature.

I feel love in the presense of some
The emotion is fine and light
I let it pervade me and I return it
The emotion oscillates between us and we feel very close
Secure, I wander further from home
And enter an area that seems disquiet
Although no sound is heard
A palpable emotion
Uncomfortable but curious
Like a tiny current pasing through my body
I become wary, less secure
And find another path
Feeling good again
I think nought of the other
Later I meet the one who dwells there
And find the current intense
I am polite
I smile
And I escape
I am child
Having little instruction
But sensing much more.

My best friend - some place he's been
As his tale begins
I see it clearly
As if I had been there
I tell him so and ask if there was this and that
And he tells me yes and yes and yes yes
I am happy to remember it with him
But I marvel at this sharing
And with facination, like a kitten
I grasp the curious thread dangling before me
And consider it most precious.

Sun light glinting off fresh fallen snow
A sparkling fairy land
I am estatic
I walk in it
And think to fall and roll
And do!
Delighted in the tumbling
I lay there looking at the sky
Light clouds overhead
I am cold yet warm
I relax
It is beautiful
I embrace the space between earth and sky
And am thrilled with it
I turn it
And looking down
Find the viewpoint of a bird floating high in the wind and sky
Seeing the ground and trees below
And consider the wonder of it all
While yet embraced in my warm clothes against the cold snow
I am child grasping a magical thread.

A visit planned to distant park with river carving through
		boulder and cliff side rock
Perfect spots to swim and slide with current swift through
		narrow places
But morning brings us rain filled clouds
Disheartened we may not go
I think of the park and see the same clouds
But imagine them disappearing
And with result
I think of the afternoon
And see sun drenched rocks
I feel the warmth
And watch the bathers smiling and glad
So I promise sunshine and confidently we set out
Nearing the park
Sunlight filtering, then bursting through
Several golden beams bringing warmth and life 
       to the forest below
The clouds disappearing
I see the sun drenched rocks
I feel the warmth
And watch the same bathers smiling and glad
From the same vantage point as earlier
And I reach further up on my magical thread. 

I dream and know I am dreaming 
I discover high cliff
And below, a valley filled deep with fiery embers
A fearsome sight
If I would fall, would I awake?
It fills me with dread
But I want no retreat from fear filled dream
Rather, with dream body
I leap to test its horror
I fall
And am soom engulfed by the fiery embers
But there is no pain, no fear
Only fascination with the heat and light
And I wake myself to find yet life.

My courage in dreams
Brings distain for fear in life
And so I add a measure of adventure
One day standing atop a high cliff
A deep pool below
Space stretching out before me
I plan to dive
Delicate is my balance
Fear courses palpably through my body
It embraces me and freezes my motion
I know I will not die
But still I cannot move
I begin to quake
Twice I start to leap and stop
Knowing there will be no major harm
I war within myself
And decide to go again but am still frozen
I remember my distain for such fear
My will rises to match the fear that grips me
I pay it no further heed
I lean forward and forward
My balance now lost
Too late to stop
I am smiling
Determined
I leap outward in a dive
Exhilaration at the conquering
Into space
And down
With thrilling speed
I meet the water
Entering with sudden force
My arms torn back to my side
I swoop down and down and but remember to return
Swimming up and still swimming upwards
I burst above the surface
With a surge of confidence
And full affinity for myself

As I pull myself up high on my hidden magical thread.

Thanksgiving with family waiting
My grand parents are yet to arrive
I am wondering
And in my mind, as if looking down
I see them
Ferried by a white car in intersection passing
I follow its movement
Until our street its turning
And all can share the image of its approach.

And years later
An afternoon of motorcycle riding
Along back country roads
Choosing at each crossroad the more curious or less 
		traveled path 
Until finally, I am completely immersed in the road and
		landscape and sky
Not knowing or caring direction or distance home
Enjoying the freshness of new discovery at every bend 
		in the road 
Hours later
As dusk descends and the air begins to chill
Now needful of return 
But with direction home unclear
I know not how far I've come
Nor whether to continue or retrace
I muse that an eagle's view from high above
Would tell me where I am
As this light thought becomes decision
I am transformed
And for a moment
Calming gazing down
I see the speck that is also me
Still at speed on a winding narrow road
But now, a life size map before me
With direction and intersections clear
I spot the path to travel
And returning to my eyes' view
I smile
My arms outstretched with grip
The wind at my chest
And the road gliding beneath me
I twist the throttle
And confidently accelerate
Home.

In a forest serene
Walking easily with a friend
I toss a leaf
On fast flowing brook
And secretly become it
Riding swiftly down a water slide
Twisting and turning
Oh my!
And accelerating through a narrow channel
Floating listlessly across a deep pool
Then caught in a furious pulling
And swept under a log
But I pop up and career onward
Uncaring and thankful for the ride
And so I grin
While walking easily with my friend.

And just now
I toss myself at ocean waves
Feeling the cool water at velocity beneath me
With outstretched arms
Skipping across trough and through wave
Adding energy to increase the thrill
And just as quickly, I return
Standing in my room looking out toward the sea
Smiling
The magical thread is now pulling me.

     

 

 

1982

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22 December 1982, Clearwater, Florida, USA

Copyright 1997 by Rodney W. Jenkins, Glendale, California. Unauthorized duplication or use is a violation of applicable federal laws.