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Why It Is Easier For Men To Be Happy

 

Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another  snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your  urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just  too  icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a  bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000.  Tux  rental-$100.

People  never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You  can open all your own jars.

You  get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

Everything on your face stays its original  color..

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one  color  for all seasons.

You  can wear shorts no matter how your legs look..

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a  mustache.  

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on  December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

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NICKNAMES

If Sheila, Candy and Sarah  go out for lunch, they will call each other  Sheila,  Candy and  Sarah.

If  Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat  Boy,  Bubba  and  Wildman  .

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EATING  OUT

When the bill arrives,  Mike,  Dave  and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of  them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want  change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

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MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on  sale.

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BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and  toothpaste,  shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would  not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

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ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

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MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she  does.

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DRESSING  UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,  answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

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NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

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OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist  appointments and romances, best friends,  favorite  foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

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THOUGHT  FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people  remembering the same thing!

 

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